The Problem
A local beauty salon in [Location] wanted to attract more clients, aged between 20-60, to book more hairstyling appointments.
They ran a standard 30% discount ad, but it wasn’t bringing in enough bookings because the ad’s message wasn’t clear enough and some parts of it could even turn off potential clients.
Our Approach
We focused on making the ad positive and easy to understand. We also made sure there was only one clear action for clients to take so they wouldn’t get confused.
Beauty Salon - Ad Case Study
This local beauty salon was stuck offering a 30% discount without seeing enough bookings. We made 3 simple changes to their ad to turn it into a client-magnet. Here’s what we did…
The Headline
Old Version:
"Are you still rocking last year's old hairstyle?"
What’s Wrong?
This sounds a bit offensive for some women, especially for a first line. It’s not a friendly way to get new clients interested in reading the rest of the ad.
New Version:
"[Location] Ladies, Turn Heads With A New Hair Makeover"
Why It Works:
This new headline is friendly and exciting. It makes people feel good about the idea of getting a new look without making them feel bad about their current hairstyle.
Urgency/Exclusivity Claim
Old Version:
"Exclusively at Maggie's spa."
What’s Wrong?
It doesn’t really say what’s special about the salon or why it’s "exclusive." It feels empty and might get some people to think it's some sort of a marketing trick.
New Version:
(Removed)
Why It Works:
We took this out because it didn’t add anything special to the ad.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
Old Version:
"Don’t miss out."
What’s Wrong?
This doesn’t say what people would be missing out on, so it doesn’t really make people feel like they need to act fast.
New Version:
"90+ women are already loving their new look! Be the next!"
Why It Works:
This makes people feel like others are already getting great results that they aren't getting, and they should join them.
Offer
Old Version:
"30% off this week only."
What’s Wrong?
The discount wasn’t clear enough on who gets the discount or how to actually claim it.
New Version:
"Enjoy 30% Off Your First Visit – Schedule Now!"
Why It Works:
This is simple and clear. It tells new clients exactly what they get and what they need to do.
Conclusion
The original ad wasn’t friendly and didn’t make it easy for people to take action. We made the ad positive, clear, and gave it a strong message that makes people want to book right away.
What are successful salons doing to attract more clients that you’re not?
Click here for a no-cost, custom consultation, and we’ll show you how to quickly boost your bookings and profits—without wasting money.
khaledelmongy@mongymarketing.com
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